New Year Same Ways of Doing Things

to find a direction and keep track of where I used to be and how I'll get to where I'm going
Posted on Saturday, January 03, 2004
By April Ross to Where I've Been and Where I'm Going

Whoo hoo. Another year. My enthusiasm is overwhelming. Yeah, I think that with each passing day its like another New Years since its been a year since that day last time around. New Years isn't really even one of my favorite holidays. It probably comes in somewhere around St. Patrick's Day. The whole staying up late thing used to be a ton of fun but since I stay up until the inner rim of 2 every night anyways, its not quite the hype that it used to be. Ah well, when I get to drink maybe it'll get a little funner. I've been doing the crossword puzzles lately and I'm happy and a little geeky to - more

Home For the Holidays

to find a direction and keep track of where I used to be and how I'll get to where I'm going
Posted on Tuesday, December 30, 2003
By April Ross to Where I've Been and Where I'm Going

It smells like pine needles and the world is looking pretty good in the cold right now. Dad's building up a fire in the fireplace and dinner's cooking. There's no place like home. Christmas was amazing. My grandpa came home from Michigan and everyone was together on my mom's side. My dad's was quite the different story. We weren't at the grandparents' on dad's side because~quite frankly, they weren't even there. They went off to New Orleans all of a sudden kind of like last year when they drove to Nashville for some reason. I'll never understand. Aunt Phil, Uncle Brad and family were all out i - more

Mutilation

to find a direction and keep track of where I used to be and how I'll get to where I'm going
Posted on Saturday, December 20, 2003
By April Ross to Where I've Been and Where I'm Going

Ahhh, home at last. Wish that could be free at last but that won't come until Tuesday when I'm off for real. I suppose I'm worth nothing now, but, when you're in a trench you can dig or climb. I think I'll climb, but truth is I'm already in that trench so if I dig I'm still there, just a little worse off. Nothing really matters anymore except getting through next four days until true freedom. I wonder what I'll find under the tree. I'm not really in this whole Christmas spirit. I know what Christmas means to me and I love it and it makes me really happy. I think that I'm going to go for a walk - more

History Class

to find a direction and keep track of where I used to be and how I'll get to where I'm going
Posted on Saturday, December 20, 2003
By April Ross to Where I've Been and Where I'm Going

Here I am, back at school and I'm supposed to be writing a depression letter to the president, how about I write a depressed letter to the president of the United States about how weird I'm feeling. I've been hearing little bits and pieces of things I don't really need to be hearing right now and its driving me crazy. Last night I went insane in my room at about midnight and emptied every drawer looking for a single note that I had. I just need a single soul that will listen to me and explain to me why the heck I always make the worst decisions possible. I am happy though, aside of all the thi - more

A Night of Peace

to find a direction and keep track of where I used to be and how I'll get to where I'm going
Posted on Sunday, December 14, 2003
By April Ross to Where I've Been and Where I'm Going

I feel so happy I just want to cry. I haven't been so optimistic in quite the long time. Everything will turn out fine and everything just needs a little time. I'm honestly not looking forward to going home anymore. I want to stay here through the winter holidays and just keep everything here and not have to go back when I feel this good. I don't want it all to end. Ever. I'm wearing black and yet somehow I glow. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Nothing can bring you down when you're loved, energy can just keep everything right. I love life, I'll never give this feeling up. Here, ta - more

Truly Relaxed

to find a direction and keep track of where I used to be and how I'll get to where I'm going
Posted on Saturday, December 13, 2003
By April Ross to Where I've Been and Where I'm Going

I don't think my head's been this clear for a long long while. I'm at a really peaceful mental state and just loving it. Tonight I'm going out with the family and hopefully everything will be warm and homey. I don't miss home much anymore, which was my goal in coming here~ just to forget most of home. Some stuff can't be forgotten but mostly everything is better left behind than taken forward. I haven't been able to stop smiling and everything smells good and I've just had a lot of space despite the fact that I'm living with 4 other people and a dog at this time. No one really bothers me, cont - more

A day of cleansing

to find a direction and keep track of where I used to be and how I'll get to where I'm going
Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2003
By April Ross to Where I've Been and Where I'm Going

Here I am sitting in a small room in a home that smells like smoke really just wondering what I'm doing here. Of course I know I've been dumped here by my family for a while, but when I return home I want to have gained something from this experience.After a lesson in body language yesterday I've really been watching how I carry myself and what I show people without saying anything. I'm not liking it much and I'm pretty insecure about the breakup. I've made mistakes. Quite a few mind you and I just need to fix them up. Problem is when you leave your problem behind in a different place, you can - more